• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer

Lucra® by Mindie Kniss and Sean Stephenson

Success coaching for entrepreneurs and traders, plus online courses on coach training and professional speaker training.

  • Coaching
  • Shop
  • Contact
Home » Blog » How to Heal from a Broken Heart

How to Heal from a Broken Heart

October 2, 2014 1 Comment

It’s a funny thing… At business and marketing conferences I’ve attended recently, the topic that always rises to the surface is relationships. So and so is going through a divorce and it’s now affecting their work; someone else is still looking for love and it’s affecting their worth.

All of us are affected by the force of love or the longing for it, most especially when the heart has been broken. The following is my advice on attending to your heart and healing.

1. Pour Yourself into Your Self

This is all about YOU time. When a relationship ends, it can feel like the world has ended too. But guess what, life is going on all around you. It waits for no one.
Begin a self-care routine, read a great book, spend time with friends, get a journal and use it, do what makes you happy. It’s your time to indulge in all things healing and harmonious.

2. Create Mandatory Space

My rule of thumb is to put the boundaries up between you and your ex for at least six months. That means no meeting, no calling, no stalking on Facebook. 😉
I know what you might be thinking… “But I work with her.” Or, “I have to drop off the kids with him.” Even in a situation where you are the only one that can interact with your ex on a specific task (have someone help you out during this time if possible), do what needs to be done and get on with it. Don’t linger in conversation. Be friendly, but not friends at this point.

3. Clean Up Your Messes

This is the time to focus on what else needs to be cleaned up in your life. Take a few moments to list what other areas of life are still messy.
How’s your health? You business? Your relationships with family and friends? Go through each of these categories with a fine-toothed comb. What needs improvement?
In the art of Feng Shui, everything has its proper place. So too, in our lives we need to sort out and clean up the things that are out of place.

4. Get It in Writing

No, I don’t mean a prenup or anything like that. I’m talking about making a written list of what worked, and most especially, what didn’t work. It’s easy to focus on how amazing that special someone was when you’re missing him or her and feeling lonely. But let’s be real, no one and no relationship is perfect.
Once you get a clear look at the good and the not so good, focus on what you want next.

5. Consider Each Relationship a Course

When you signed up for Freshman year English, you didn’t expect it to go on forever did you? I hope not. We have been conditioned through movies and media that “true love” means the relationship is infinite. Not so.
Relationships are more like courses you may have taken in school. There is a beginning and an endpoint. There is a teacher (your partner). And there are specific things you are meant to learn.

6. Don’t Generalize the Gender

Extract the person from the gender and the age from the equation. This can be said for all labels: nationality, career, personality, etc…
In short, not all men and women are the same. Do not make the mistake of thinking they are.

7. Look For the Patterns

Our hearts constantly nudge us forward toward the best path although we often get stuck in our heads and miss the message completely.
Look for patterns in your relationships, both positive and negative. If you keep experiencing a similar effect, there’s something you need to learn (see #5). When a client comes to me after a breakup, we spend a lot of time looking at the whispers from their heart, the nudges from the universe that something was wrong or needed change.

8. Forgive Yourself

Take yourself and your ex off the pedestal. You weren’t perfect. He/she wasn’t perfect. As in #4, when you’re solo again, it can seem like your ex was the best thing going… But that’s only in contrast to the aloneness you feel right now. There’s probably a much better match out there for you.
Forgiveness is like the parting of traffic in rush hour. It clears the path to move forward. It’s not helpful to play the part of victim, martyr, or righteous one. Forgive yourself.
Oh yeah, and forgive them too. 😉

9. Be Willing to Be Hurt Again

That’s a tough one, but the thing is, you have to be willing to put your heart back out there.
Ships are safe in the harbor, but that’s not why they were made. Your heart is a vessel of love and joy; it wasn’t made to sit at home depressed.
My friend Annie Lalla puts it simply: “To say yes to love, is to say yes to pain.” Ouch! But so true. It is only in the contrast that we are able to feel so deeply, experience different realms of ourselves, and to learn the lessons we came here to learn. Love is a primal force that shapes us into who we are to become.

10. Seek Help

There’s no shame in reaching out for support. You know you need to get into the rhythm of life again, the rhythm of progress. Call a friend, coach, or therapist for some tough love. 🙂

Share this:

  • Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
  • Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)

Filed Under: Relationships

Comments

  1. Jo Altman says

    October 14, 2014 at 11:40 am

    Thank you dear heart for the down to earth comments, we have gone to one of Sean’s talks, in the past, enjoyed it, I like straight forward answers, it works, I have a daughter that is non-verbal autistic and I have to tell you I have learned more about
    love in the 36 years of living with her than a life time could have given me. She is with me even when going to work. Love is a powerful tool.

    Reply

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

Listen to the latest podcast

After debuting at #10 in Entrepreneurship on Apple Podcasts, The Lucra Life™ topped the charts in over 30 countries.

Watch The Daily Rage™

Join the Conversation

  • Mindie Kniss on Dow on the Struggle Bus 🚌
  • Sheila Crosby on Dow on the Struggle Bus 🚌
  • Jeff on Back At It
  • Mindie Kniss on Back At It

Customer Login

Ambassador Login

Get Access to our “True Wealth” course, in addition to our latest podcasts & programs:

GET ACCESS

Follow Us on Social

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • LinkedIn
  • Twitter
  • YouTube
  • About
  • Podcast
  • Course Catalog
  • Coaching
  • Our Books
  • Contact
  • Coach Training
  • Speaker Training
  • Sedona Retreat
  • Futures Trading

Copyright © 2023 Lucra LLC. HeartPath®, The Daily Rage™, and Lucra® are trademarks of Lucra LLC. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy | Terms & Conditions
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases.


DISCLAIMER:  All information and data on this site is for informational purposes only.  This information is based on my personal opinion and experience, and should not be considered professional investment advice.  The ideas and strategies should never be used without first assessing your own financial situation, or without consulting a qualified financial professional.  My thoughts and opinions will change from time to time as I learn and accumulate more knowledge. NOTICE:  No representation is being made that the use of this strategy or any system or trading methodology will generate profits.  Past performance is not indicative of future results.  There is substantial risk of loss associated with trading securities.  Trading securities is not suitable for everyone. Do not trade with money you can’t afford to lose. This website is neither a solicitation nor an offer to Buy/Sell futures, options, or currencies. No representation is being made that any account will or is likely to achieve profits or losses similar to those discussed on this website. The past performance of any trading system or methodology is not indicative of future results. CFTC RULE 4.41 – HYPOTHETICAL OR SIMULATED PERFORMANCE RESULTS HAVE CERTAIN LIMITATIONS. UNLIKE AN ACTUAL PERFORMANCE RECORD, SIMULATED RESULTS DO NOT REPRESENT ACTUAL TRADING. ALSO, SINCE THE TRADES HAVE NOT BEEN EXECUTED, THE RESULTS MAY HAVE UNDER-OR-OVER COMPENSATED FOR THE IMPACT, IF ANY, OF CERTAIN MARKET FACTORS, SUCH AS LACK OF LIQUIDITY. SIMULATED TRADING PROGRAMS IN GENERAL ARE ALSO SUBJECT TO THE FACT THAT THEY ARE DESIGNED WITH THE BENEFIT OF HINDSIGHT. NO REPRESENTATION IS BEING MADE THAT ANY ACCOUNT WILL OR IS LIKELY TO ACHIEVE PROFIT OR LOSSES SIMILAR TO THOSE SHOWN.