Jewels Duncan Hale is a strategic business mentor and trainer. She believes all good business and life satisfaction are the result and sum of your relationship and trust capital.
As the Co-Founder of Tribe for Leaders, a one-of-a-kind (invite-only) Partnership Network for 7-Figure Businesses, she is the Lead Partnership Matchmaker and Coach for an exclusive and select community of entrepreneurs and experts.
It is Jewels’s passion to help the highest achievers unlock the next level of their purpose while creating more play (aka enjoyment) in their work. She does this by cultivating better alignment with natural talents and passion resulting in greater impact, clarity, and life satisfaction.
She is currently finishing her book, Scaling 6 Figures, a guide and workbook for 6-figure business leaders to use to build a sustainable and strategic 7-figure business.
Mindie: Today, my guest is my dear friend, Jewels Duncan. I cannot wait for you guys to get to know her because she has fascinating stories, really interesting perspectives and just some great wisdom to share. So, Jewels, welcome to the program.
Jewels: Hey, Mindie, thank you so much for having me. I’m so excited to be here with you today.
Mindie: I am so excited to have you here too. What you all don’t know is that we had already started this, but I neglected to hit record correctly. So I appreciate Jewels, your patience and we just keep it real here on the show. So to get started, I know that a lot of my audience might not know about you, which I’m so happy that they will after this show, but if you could share with them, a little bit of your story from growing up, up until what you’re doing now, specifically focusing on your wealth evolution. What was money like for you and what is it like now?
Jewels: Okay, well I love the question, thank you because I get to go back and kind of think about my life and the first thing I always tell everybody is that I had my first sale at seven years old in first grade when I sold $100 product, a skincare product to my teacher. So it was Royal Jelly, it was $50 an ounce and she bought a two-ounce bottle because she loved it so much. My mom sold makeup and I was so excited because I sat with her because I was kind of quiet, but I got to listen. So since I was very little, I have had the most incredible opportunity to learn how to talk to people, to learn how to sell, and to learn how to get a message across even in the way I was brought up. I was raised in a religion that was constrictive and they basically said no holidays, no birthdays and we had a knock on doors. So since I was very little I was trained, how to talk to people, what to say, how to use tone, how to use pausing, how to use the Bible and even pronounce the words in the Bible so that you could actually connect the stories to real life and so that training was invaluable to me. It changed the way I saw the world. I was always different and I was always that kind of a kid that didn’t get to participate in the holidays, but I got to watch everything so it was really fascinating. And I was really fortunate, I was normally top of the class and just was always Teacher’s pet. So different access points than most children get.
My parents were both entrepreneurs. My mother was a salesperson her entire life. She was so good at connecting with people, people love my mom. And then my father, he was an upholsterer, which was super interesting because he taught me such great lessons about foundation because every time we did any project he had to strip it all the way down to the bare bones and we only worked with the best. We lived on the central coast of California and he worked in Santa Barbara and San Luis for the most affluent people. So early on, I got to see wealth at the highest level. I got to go into the most beautiful houses and yet my parents didn’t have that wealth mentality, even though my mother’s mother was actually a millionaire; she married well – the second marriage. So she traveled all over the world and she had everything she needed, and my mother was the one that was going to inherit everything. Yet my mother never had that mentality. She always came from a place of poorness and even though I never felt poor as a child because we had everything we needed, we lived in a nice home, but how she spoke about her reality spoke to where she really was. And when I was a child, I didn’t really understand that we create the world that we live in by how we see the world. So, my mom, she taught me so many great things like my kids were listening to Netflix and they were playing a song and it was the little song [inaudible 04:13] She always taught me really positive messaging that really helped me today even. And it was a song that said, “The more we get together, the happier we’ll be.” And I’m like, “Oh my gosh, that’s the theme of everything I do now.” It’s like, the more we connect, the more we do things together, the more I realize we need each other, the happier we really are because that’s when we’re really in our true power. So she taught me all these great messages and yet at the same time, she wasn’t able to see for her world and her lens, what it really would look like to adopt what she was able to teach me.
So completely grateful for her lessons and even the fact that she took me to all the sales conferences. I actually got to speak at corporate by time was 10 because I was selling for her. My mother would use [me] because she would do really good at the intros but then she kind of fizzled, but I didn’t, so she would let me put on her classes. So since I was very young, I’ve had opportunities to teach and to work with people and to be like a trainer because I always looked kind of older. I was overweight, my hair was short and it aged me and so no one thought I was as young as I really was. So I always entered rooms much younger than anyone and because my demeanor is very calm and quiet, it was okay that it was there. So I got a wealth of knowledge so young. Then I saw my dad create magnificent pieces. His work was in Architectural Digest, yet he didn’t charge that much because he didn’t see the value in what he was doing. And nothing was duplicatable, or scalable. Everything was this piece, this piece, and it would take him so much longer than he’d ever give himself time to do and so he created this world for himself that was so stressful because he didn’t allow more length and he never charged enough. So my heart was always with entrepreneurs, the small business people and so I loved it.
When I went to college, I got my degree in psychology because I realized that if I understood psychology, there was nothing I couldn’t do. I needed to understand best how people worked. What made people get inspired, the light bulb, how do they move, what makes a person take a certain path. The brain always fascinated me and so that’s why I decided psychology was where I was going. I had always liked sales and marketing, but I was not interested in going on that path for college. I never even considered what I did as sales or marketing. I just did what I did because I really enjoyed people. So it was really fascinating how I went through school thinking– I actually thought I was going to be a therapist. I actually thought that this was where I wanted to go and I wanted to just talk with people. And I was tracking so that I could be a psychiatrist but the more I get it, the more I realized, I didn’t want to get caught up in just the story in a sense. I wanted to see where I could help, where I could do things that really started moving the needle. At the same time, I married very young. So by this point, I’m in school, I actually take my little babies to school with me. So I’m in college, I have my first baby with me, like a year after I get married, I’m about 20 years old.
Jewels: And so he’s in school with me and I actually got a minor in child development as well because of my baby because I figured if I had the child development people on my side, I would have an easier time at college. And I did because they watched my children. I trusted them. My teacher even actually watched my son while I’m taking my final. So it’s like all my life I’ve been calibrating who are the right people that can help support me in this place that I go in? How do I find–
Mindie: How did you find a way to do it?
Jewels: Well, I needed to and I didn’t have as much support in that relationship. And I was really trying to figure out how do I still excel because I’ve always been top of the class, always done the best I could possibly do. Now I have a baby, I have all these things going on and not as easy anymore. So I had to figure out how do I get the help I need. So I was able to find the people that I needed, and they really helped me. Fast forward a little further, I decided, because I was watching my kids one day and I heard the radio and they’re saying like – this was right after college – and they were saying that they were hiring sales reps for the radio station. That was my favorite radio station that I had listened to all my life and I was like, “Oh my gosh!” At the time, it was like over 20 years ago, almost hard to say that now, but it was like radio was a big thing back then. So I’m like, “Wow, you know what, I could do that.” And I was more shy and quiet but I’m like, “No, no, I could do that job because that would be really cool to work with those people and I love music and all those things.”
So right after college, I got my first job working for Clear Channel Radio, which is one of the largest marketing conglomerates in the world, and that’s where I got to really see marketing. I started writing commercials for radio, which was really fun because they’re like 60 seconds or less, how do we sell them? And then we were the ones that brought the 30-second commercials so it was much more succinct. So I started talking to even more business owners and being able to see the struggles and where the people were going and I realized that even then, it was before the internet really got booming, but it was still not the right answer. And I was like, “How do I move myself in a better position where I can actually help these entrepreneurs?” because these people and small [business]– I don’t like them calling small business because if you have any size business, that’s big business. Because you’re doing something for your community that’s really big, and you’re stepping out of your comfort zone, you’re putting your family on the line, you’re putting everything that really matters to you right there, and you’re showing up for the community. So I don’t love the word small business at all. I really believe that these are community heroes that step forward and do that.
So for over 10 years, I just spent my time and my effort helping these businesses move and grow and it just developed. Like who I was talking to next and what business I was working with and I’m really grateful for that. A lot of the people I work with, no one would have ever known their name. They still wouldn’t. But the lessons that I learned from working with community business are lessons that are what I utilize today. When you learn how to market without a budget that just has no end to the runway and it doesn’t matter because you could just keep throwing things at the wall, and you can keep moving. That’s different than having to do marketing like guerilla-style where you’re like, “This has to work. This is someone’s family’s money. This has to work, we have to be in business next month.” It shifts the way you see life. It shifts the way you see money and you realize that there are ways to work it better. And that’s what I really realized that as I was moving forward and even my discovery of what wealth truly was, it was these relationships that really we’re making businesses move. So for me, the discovery of wealth has always been in your relationship capital. What other relationships in your life are you developing? Because that’s the true security.
I know that there’s nothing like you know, people see commas and zeros in a bank account and they feel security, but when you have a network of people that you can count on, that you can speak to, that you can really move forward with, that you can bring your biggest problem to and your biggest success to, you have something money can’t buy. And it takes real work, real commitment, and real authenticity to even have something near that. So my journey has taught me, it’s always been about relationships, it’s always been, “How do we create something that makes it a win-win-win, so that everybody in the scenario actually benefits from that?” And the dollars come but it starts with the value. Where can we bring more value to the table? How do we provide value and how do we work with the right people that understand that value needs to be shared and that we are not in a sense of lack? How do we continue to resonate with that? And when we do, and we ask those kinds of questions, it shifts what happens even in small businesses. It shifts the way people respond to you. Like I said, it’s more community business than small, but it’s the way people show up when they have a safety net. And that’s why that song that my mother kept bringing up, she taught it to me when I was so little, “The more we get together, the happier we’ll be”? That’s the greatest lesson she ever gave me because that is what true wealth really is – that connection. The more we work together, the happier we’ll all be, and we really are wanting the happiness and that’s true wealth versus the dollars that are in the bank account.
Mindie: Yeah, and you know what, Jewels, to that point, I mean, it’s perfect that you’re talking about this because I met you at Genius Network. And that, to me, was such a great example of everything that you’re saying because all along the way, they were so helpful in so many different ways. And I would say, especially then, when Sean died, that network really came together and they were like, “Mindie, we got you. How can we help? What do you need? How can we support you?” and it was based on that relationship capital. I love it that that’s where you and I first connected too. So just to clarify because I ask this of every one of my guests, your definition of wealth. Would you say that it is the relationship capital or are there other things that you would add into that as well? Like what is your personal definition of wealth?
Jewels: Relationship capital is absolutely part of the core of it. Then it absolutely is your health, your mindfulness and your [resilience]. [Resilience] is so crucial because it’s how you move forward because no one has a perfect storyline, even though we’d all wish for that perfect story. Even Cinderella, we heard her story and then she got married, but we didn’t hear the rest, you know what I mean? We just got to the point where the story got going, and we were told, “The end”, but that’s not it. The whole journey is really what it’s about, and that [resilience] is actually such a key component. [Resilience] creates perspective and vice versa. It’s like a mirror that just really gets created. It’s not something that we can understand until we’ve gone through a little bit, of what a gift it is. I always tell people that the best gifts come in the ugliest packages. Like when I was 27 years old, my daughter passed away. That’s pretty young. And actually, she was the first person in my life that ever had died. So I’d never even explored the idea of death or the finality of death until I lost a child that had been in my body. And she was so young so there was so much to really have to go through. I had a degree in psychology, I had all the backing of telling you what it should feel like, and it didn’t. It felt a million times worse. So it’s like, all these things but they made me me. And it took me having to go through a lot of self-discovery and even though I stayed home for a lot of it in the beginning, I would get people knocking on my door.
It was randomly a mailman one time and he had a package for me. And at that point, I couldn’t help but say it always. Everybody that met me, I couldn’t help but say that, that she had passed away, and turned out he had lost his child too. He had this beautiful message for me that “You’ll be okay. I’m here, you’ll get there.” The world has so much that we can connect from and we just have to sometimes open the door. And that’s really what I’ve learned is that that door sometimes feels really hard to open but when you open it, the world has something right there for you. That’s one of the biggest gifts that I had was the people, the people that pulled me through from that experience. Because I felt like my grief was this ball of glass that I always held and it always made me bleed, but when I realized there was a way I could turn it that actually didn’t hurt me and actually made this beautiful light come through, it changed everything. I realized I could utilize my grief and my story, and it could help someone else.
Mindie: Well, I would be one of those people for sure because you helped me tremendously after Sean died and I’ll tell you exactly how that came about. Because there’s a funny thing for those of us that have gone through an experience like that, a big grief experience. There’s kind of this sense of like, you shouldn’t try to compare your loss to someone else’s loss or their loss your loss or whatever. So I was always kind of like I don’t know what a greater loss would be. I said, “I don’t have children so potentially, that to me, could be worse.” I don’t know. I mean, how do you even compare them? There’s not a worst thing. But Jewels, you said something to me that was so eye-opening to me and also, truly just, you were bearing witness to my grief. You said, “Yeah, it is crazy sad to lose a child but you don’t live your life through your child. You live your life through and with your spouse, your partner.” And, again, that’s not to like compare and contrast but it just felt so honoring to me and to my loss for you to have seen that and say, “I recognize that Mindie, this is what I’m seeing”, having come from the perspective of you did lose your daughter. So I am one of those people that your experience absolutely directly helped me.
Jewels: Well, I appreciate that because I feel like we all have a piece of each other we can share, and it’s in those moments that just change everything. Because sometimes we just need permission to be like, “You know what, this is my sad story and I can recognize your sad story and it still be okay.” And honestly, Mindie, everybody’s always like, “Oh, you win, you have the sad story.”
Mindie: Right. I don’t want to win that game though.
Jewels: Yeah, no, it’s not what I want first prize in, you know?
Mindie: But because that feeling in that place, when they hear it, it helps someone at the same time because we are such caring souls mostly for our default. And when you hear something like that even in your grief spot, you want to give comfort to me. You were trying to comfort me at the same time you were feeling your heartache and you’re feeling your deepest grief. And it’s a beautiful thing that this piece of my grief can do that and it’s done that with so many people that they’re like, “No, no, no. We’re so sorry for you.” And I’m like, “It’s okay. I feel you and I honor where you’re at right now.” And Mindie, honestly, it’s like I’ve studied grief for so long and I’ve sat with so many people in their grief spot, and it’s like a phoenix rising kind of journey.
Mindie: Absolutely. Yes.
Jewels: For me, it felt like my bones were melting because it hurts so bad. It was just like that feeling of just really– It shifts you and I have to say that as I watched you and I held space for you, and you were my heart so much, your journey was so beautiful because you shared so much of it publicly, and you allowed it to be okay. Because there were a lot of people grieving when Sean died. It hurt the world, like the world felt it, and you felt it deepest, and yet you provided us all so much comfort. Even the HeartPath that you did just months later, I truly believe that a lot of us came close to it because we had a piece that we needed to work with, with you. And you were so available and so open and that experience was so life-changing for me that I was just– And at the same time, I’m realizing that you’ve just gone through this unexpected, dramatic loss and yet here you are showing up full-out. The thing that was the most common denominator said there is we all understood why Sean loved you so much. Because it was the first time that I really, really saw you playing full-out and being there. And this was like part of your grief journey. It’s like, to be able to even be in a place to articulate how you feel is one thing, but you not only articulated, you facilitated our journey, and you don’t even know where we were going. And like I told you, that I had stuff that I came to HeartPath specifically to work on in my own life. So I was so honored just to see how you navigated through it because it was utterly beautiful, and so poignant, your journey. Thank you so much for having the courage to share it with all of us.
Mindie: Well, Jewels, it’s really nice to hear that, while on my side, it definitely didn’t feel well facilitated or strong or anything like that. It felt awful, quite honestly but that being said, I am still so grateful that I chose to go through that and that you all showed up. That whole group was an amazing, amazing experience. And would you share briefly because you had an awesome, awesome thing that came out of your time at HeartPath. You told me that and I was blown away. Would you share that with the audience?
Jewels: Yes. I had seen your posts and I was like, “Well, that sounds like fun because I’d always–” We had connected at Genius Network and I’m like, “We need to connect again.” I knew that and that was something I always knew would happen. And I planned on going to Sean’s event a couple Augusts ago and yet my dad, he got really sick the week before. I had tickets. I was so excited. My son, he told me, “Wow, you get to meet that YouTuber? I’m like, “I already know him.” He’s like, “Wow!” He was so in awe of it. But it was my dad getting sick and I had to make that decision what to do because it was like, he had just got sick unexpectedly, he was in the hospital and it was a couple days before. And I was so called because I really had wanted to spend time with you and Sean and I really knew how incredible that would have been but it wasn’t the right time. So I wasn’t able to go and I ended up going and being with my dad, and that started a long journey because my dad never really came around the hospital. He was in hospital care for about a year and a half, two years, so it was a very stressful time, to say the least.
It was never super easy growing up even with my dad. I loved him. He had so much wisdom. He had so much about him that was just incredible, and I feel like a lot of his lessons I get to live, and I really appreciate that. But he also was an alcoholic and he was highly stressed all the time – self-imposed, granted, but always highly stressed – and so he had one of those trigger tempers. So one of my best gifts today is being able to talk on the spot pretty eloquently and talk to my audience. That’s a gift I got from my father. My father, if I said something too wrong, it could get him really upset because he already had so much going on. It was displaced anger. I know that as an adult. As a child, all I’d try to do is navigate around that. And I was smart so I learned really well how to speak in a way that really kept my audience with me in a way that I liked. So it’s truly like the best gift that I could possibly have today. People always tell me, “Wow, you have such a way with words.” Everything is earned. There’s no easy button for these skill sets that we have or how we are. It’s like we earn them. And not everybody tells their story of how they earned them or even maybe you realize what it was that actually earned them. But I think about it and I have so much gratitude for that. But at the same time, he still wasn’t an easy man to know. I loved him but he wasn’t easy. Even the social worker, she’s like, “He has a lot of emotional issues.” And I’m like, “Yeah, that’s my dad. That’s my daddy”, but he’s great and he would give you the shirt off his back. But he’s stubborn, and he wanted his way, and there’s only one way so it’s not easy to navigate.
So there were a lot of feelings there and a lot of heartache. My heart ached because I knew he probably wasn’t coming out and I really wanted things to be better. And yet there were such feelings because he was really unhappy being in a bed all the time. So again, displaced anger. He wasn’t happy that he wasn’t able to drink at the end and so there were a lot of feelings that were coming up from him. And he was an in kidney failure and so if we even just think like, chemically, he had a lot of toxins in his body. I can understand and I articulate it all the way out, of why my dad showed up the way he did at the end. My brain can tell you, but my heart still hurt over it. I knew that there was that block there and so I’m like, “Okay, I really should go, right? I really, really should go.” And I thought about it, and I really wanted to go but sometimes I hesitate. And what’s great about God, the Universe, is that he sends pings. At least I hear them because I’ve seen them especially since my daughter died. All these beautiful loving messages about where I should be and what I should be doing. And nothing could be more obvious than when Sean’s parents were sat next to me at Genius Network, the event. I was like, “Okay, I will take that as massive confirmation.” Because at Genius, they’re always talking about all these things that you should be doing, the people you should connect to, but the only thing that I was hearing from that entire conversation is, “You need to go to HeartPath.” So sitting next to Sean’s parents with just that confirmation, so I text message you right then and ask you if you still have any spots left because I had dragged my feet. So it worked out. It worked out that I got to go and I really needed to go. I really, really did and I knew I’d needed to go and it was– Sedona has always been a very healing place for me. I got married in Sedona, I spread ashes for my daughter in Sedona. So it made sense that your event was going to be there and it was just perfect timing. So it was beyond what I expected. It was more than what I could have asked you for, especially at that moment. And it was exactly what I needed to really be able– I left there after spending two and a half days with you, and the first place I went was to see my dad and it was the best conversation I’d had with him a long time.
Mindie: Yeah, I love that, that you were able to take what you experienced there and just put it so directly into real life, into your family because then didn’t he pass away right after that?
Jewels: Yeah, he passed away about a month later and that conversation really mattered. I feel like HeartPath helped me in so many ways, but that was a conversation I don’t know if I would have had, had we not done the work. And the heartache left after HeartPath…
Jewels: …That was the most amazing part of it. And that’s when I sent you a text message over because I was like, “Mindie, this was beyond anything that I can describe as a copywriter.” I’m like, “I don’t know how to monetize this, but I wish I could because everybody needs to understand how incredible this experience is, and why it’s what everybody needs to find.” Because the most beautiful part of the experience is everybody was in a different place with a different situation and yet they all needed the same unlocking. They all needed to hear what you shared. And I love that there were people in the room that had already experienced one and they came back.
Mindie: Yeah, I think there were some there that had been there a few times. They keep coming back.
Jewels: It was so good. It was not what someone would anticipate the experience to be, I don’t believe. It was so much more internal, and yet– I’m a nerd. I love science. I love that there was so much articulation from science, from research, from everything that for someone like me can just grab onto. Like, “You know what, that makes so much sense.” Seeing the examples and actually even playing with an iPad, right? It was just an experience that I don’t think I would be me without. Even there was just something that you said that just unlocked so much permission for me because it’s like, I can describe pretty much anybody. You come to me, you want to get your brand moving, you want to get the right messaging, you want to get in front of an audience, I can help you diagnose it all. I can help you position yourself, I can help you get the right wording, the right messaging to really connect to your audience. But when someone asks me what I do, hard to explain, you know what I mean? Hard to explain and yet, you helped me so much. And the way you do it is like – and I’ve seen you do it with other people – just this instant shift that you’re able to connect and create for the person that you’re really talking to. So I really see why people– Like there were people in the room that have had the one on one coaching with you, and it’s those instant shifts that make all the difference, right? Because that’s why I didn’t want to go into therapy and be a psychiatrist is because I didn’t want to have to only win if I could keep patients coming to see me.
Mindie: Thank you, I totally agree. I was the same way. Started In psychology, then I’m like, “This is not what I want to do” because of that exact point. Let me check in with you just on time check because I had scheduled until 4:50. Do you have a few more minutes?
Mindie: Okay, cool, because there’s a great piece that I’d love to drop in here, and then we’ll talk about the summit and wrap. So I’ll edit all this out.
Jewels: No problem.
Mindie: So Jewels, that’s awesome. I totally appreciate you not only for saying what you said about HeartPath and about my work but for you, you took it and embodied it and did something with it. So that I totally appreciate. Now one of the other aspects of this show that I love to do with all of the guests, and my listeners have had such delight just getting to know you all better. It’s this four-part question based on the acronym HERB. So H-E-R-B and I’ll just walk you through the four parts. “H” stands for habits. What are some of your habits that just allow you to get all your work done while you’ve got kids running around and all that, just be productive? What are your habits?
Jewels: Okay, so I have to gamify my stuff. So, yes, and I already know what my weaknesses are and what my strengths are and what my defaults are, and so what I do is I bake into my habits, the things that I’m weakest in. So then if I do like, “Okay, I’m happy to go write for an hour. Okay, if I go write for an hour, I got to spend some outreach time talking to people as well.” So A equals B is how I kind of see it. So A is the thing that I like to do, B is the thing that I don’t really like to do, but I’m going to bake in what B is. Even how I work with people. I know I do better when I work with someone and I talk to them like twice a week. What I normally do is I offer one hour per week for when people were doing an intensive, and I get them to agree to that. But then, as a bonus, what I do is I show up after we’ve agreed that this is what it’s worth to you, I give them an undisclosed bonus of an extra hour…
Mindie: Oh nice.
Jewels: …Because I needed two. I know what I need. I need more touchpoints so that I can really understand what’s going on, not less. If I have two during the week, then I really can understand how we’re moving something forward. If I have one, it’s not as easy to feel it. So I bake into my success, these habits and these little markers of what I know that I need and then I offer them in ways and position how my audience can receive them best. If I sold you one hour and you’re happy at the cost and then I tell you I’m going to give you another free hour, it feels different than if I would have sold you two hours for the same price.
Jewels: You show up better. I show up better. We all feel better about it. So I’m always looking for ways how I can position what I need to do in a way that really hits me the right way, and also the audience the right way. So my habits are based on, “How do I get the things that I’m the strongest in to help me do the things that I’m the weakest in?”
Mindie: That is really, really, really nice and I love the gamification aspect of that. That’s fantastic. So moving to the “E”, the “E” stands for environment. How do you set up your environment in terms of what you allow in or don’t allow in, again, to be productive to have developed the work that you do now?
Jewels: Well, a massive piece of my environment is my husband. My husband is so good at creating like ultra-Zen environments. And with having so many kids especially under five – we have three little ones. And it’s like Zen and having little children normally don’t go together.
Jewels: But he does such a great job. He keeps everything in such great alignment for me so that it’s easy for me to be me. I have a sacred space that this is the only place I work. I do everything in my power not to take my computer – because I basically live on my computer – outside work zones, and just honor that to be workplaces. So my bedroom and my family room, you’re not going to see the computer there so that way, I could keep things clear. Really, if I’m coming into my office, this is my sanctuary, this is my quiet space and this is where I work. That’s really, really important to me. Then having things that are meaningful in my office. For me, I have a phrase on the wall that says, “Be amazing today”, and that’s something I can look at right now. I have my computer but I can see that at all times. I have a picture of me and my husband on my desk, and little trinkets that mean a lot to me. I have little things that my kids have drawn and things that remind me of why I do what I do so that I can really show up and be who I need to be. But it’s all about building that foundation and it’s the environment. I really love what Ben Hardy says. He’s so good about that. And it’s just like the environment really does create your outcomes and really can shift how you see things. So really, actively creating an environment that’s comforting, that’s a sanctuary, that’s somewhere I really want to be, is really important to me being able to play full-out.
Mindie: Yeah, I’m right there with you in that. It has to be so deliberate and very specific so that’s awesome. So the “R” stands for resources and resources could be books, a course, a mentor, just any resource that you have loved and that you would recommend to my audience.
Jewels: Resources. Well, my favorite resource is always my cell phone. My cell phone because I have people on that cell phone that I can talk to at any time that can help me. So there are great books, there are great mentors but really, there are people in your world right now that are the people you need to connect to, and they’re already connected to you. That’s what I really love is being able to really stay connected to the people that we know. I try to talk to three to five people a week that are in my network, just to get more perspective, perspective is everything. And on our phone, you can do a quick video. I like doing videos so that people can actually see you and then it’s something that they can actually– You can utilize the entire spectrum of communication on a video which you can’t do via text and can’t do via email. It’s actually easier and so much more compelling.
So the phone has so many resources for you. Pretty much anything you need to ever Google or look for is there. And because it’s already in your hand, it’s something we should utilize. It’s not just a device other people can connect to us on when they want to get ahold of us. Let’s take the power back. Let’s realize what it’s really there [for] because it’s like we’re super connected by technology, but our connection to others is flailing because we will send a quick text. It’s like, let’s send voice memos, let’s send videos, let’s continue to figure out how to connect so that we can really get the resources because I truly believe the answers you’re looking for are not found 100 miles away. Just like the story about the guy that was digging for gold and he kept looking and looking and it’s right there in his yard. It’s like the answers you need are so close to you and it’s so evident. What I’m doing every single day now is how close what your breakthrough really Is, and you’re literally just one connection away from really having the answers you need. So it’s really like how do we leverage what we have in our daily life to make these massive leaps forward?
Mindie: What I love about this question is that I’ve asked this to everybody that’s ever been on this show, and I keep thinking, “Probably they’ll say something similar”, and then you come out with that, like, “My cell phone”. Nobody has said that before, and you’re right. That is such a powerful resource so thank you for that. And to wrap up our acronym, the “B” stands for beliefs. What are some of your core beliefs that really have developed you into who you are today?
Jewels: A real core belief, I actually used to wear it on my bracelet, it used to say, “On purpose”. I had to realize that when everything’s going right, we realize that everything is absolutely the way it should be. But I believe if math and I’m like, “It has to work on both sides, right?” That’s why I also believe like God is love. God equals love, right? That’s how you would say it in math. So if it’s this, it has to be that. So if we believe that everything is happening for a reason and on purpose when it’s going right, then we are responsible to believe that when it’s not going right, everything is still happening on purpose. And that belief is absolutely baked into me having to– I really decided, when my daughter passed away, that I could not allow the love that we shared to be what destroyed me. And when I realized that, that changed everything, because now I have the burden to actually live a good life instead of just essentially living until I die, right, just waiting. So that gave me everything and so because I believe that, I believe obviously, unfortunately, her dying was part of what had to be. So I always remember that if I have to make that on purpose, that every single other thing that’s happened in life that may not be easy, that I may not like, has to be on purpose too. And if it’s on purpose, then there’s a lesson here, and if there’s a lesson here, there’s an opportunity, and if there’s an opportunity, there’s a win. So it’s very much like we choose how we see life, and for the rest of my life, I will always remember Sean’s last words because he was such an incredible human being and he just took it to the next level to utilize his remaining moments to give us the best message he could give everybody and that’s the truth. He was as close to Source as possible right then and that message means everything. It’s that hope and understanding that what you’re going through right now, it absolutely can be a lot and it absolutely can feel like the foundation under you is wobbly at best, but if you realize that it’s happening for you, not to you, it changes everything.
Jewels: Yeah, and so that’s the core of me. I truly believe that we are here to learn from each other and so the conversation you’re having with the person you’re having it with, is the most important conversation you could be having, so listen. They’re going to tell you something that you are supposed to hear and you’re supposed to know and only this person can share it with you. So it’s your job to show up in a way that you can actually receive it because every single person that comes in, even that crazy driver that tries to cut you off– When things go wrong, people are wishing for something that slowed them down, but nobody thinks about it like that when things are going right. They get angry that someone cut them off. I’m like, that could have like– And that’s a lesson from my dad. He’s like, “You don’t know what you’re missing by having that person cut you off. They could have saved your life.”
Mindie: Absolutely, yes.
Jewels: So perspective, perspective is everything. And if you really want to gain perspective, talk to more people. The more people you talk to, especially in your sphere, and even actually diversity. The more you can understand what’s really going on, because we have one lens in our brain, and we assume that’s what the world looks like. But it’s not until we actually have more perspective, just like AI, just like all these amazing algorithms, they only function correctly and can provide precision results when they have enough data. So the points that we have that we can see through are not enough data to understand what’s really going on. If you really want a better understanding of life, you need to talk to people, you need to see other people’s side, even people that you innately don’t agree with. Because there’s so much to be learned, especially from that person.
Mindie: I would say, especially from those people. Jewels, this has been awesome. I’ve told you this a million times, I always love talking to you and our conversations are always fantastic. If our listeners are like, “You know what, I would like to get to know this Jewels Duncan a little bit better, and see what she’s up to” or interact with you and your work these days. Where would you like to send them?
Jewels: Well, they can absolutely find me at tribeforleaders.com. That’s what I’m working on these days and I’m working on that with Kevin Thompson. We are actually putting together the who’s who of seven-figure business and it’s an incredible network of the most incredible people and incredible souls and we’re in this together. I always tell people, we’re not in the mastermind business, we’re in the results business. We’re looking to really provide people the opportunity to work together. Strategic partnerships with the understanding that we’re looking for strategic partnerships because that’s how we win. It’s like, for the last like five or six years it’s got inflated because there’s been paid advertising that you think you’re a little island, that you can hustle and you can grind, and you can 10X. But guess what, it’s not easy like that anymore. It’s coming back to you have to have a solid network. If you have a solid network, there’s nothing you can’t do. So we really are so on the line of like, “How do we create more relationship capital? How do we create more trust capital? How do we create more value capital?” That’s really at the epicenter of everything I’m doing today. I’m passionate about really helping people see that and helping people take it to the next level. You don’t have to be at the most perfect spot in your business, that’s what I love the most, but you do need the right people in your life so that you can even get to where you want to go. Because alignment is power, alignment is velocity and the alignment is absolutely you on purpose.
Mindie: Yeah. I love that you and Kevin are doing that together. We interviewed Kevin for this show last year. So our audiences may know him, now they know you, so yeah, I totally recommend you all check that out, get to know Jewels. And to my delight, Jewels is also going to be a part of the Lucrative Speaker Summit. Would you talk just for a moment about what your topic is going to be for the up and coming speakers?
Jewels: Absolutely. Well, I’m excited to be sharing what I’ve learned after spending over $5 million personally on Facebook ads, been the consultant on another $5 million, and seeing what it takes and the right messaging to really get people to take action with you. So I want to share what it would take to go from someone that absolutely has never heard of you before to actually be having raving fans. It’s all in how you present yourself, it’s all in how you position your languaging and it’s all about the value you provide your audience through the entire journey. So we’re going to walk through all of that and we’re going to share a lot of insight so that you can really take it to that level that you’re wanting to do so that you absolutely can share your gift with the world in a way that they can hear you and want to work with you as well.
Mindie: Super important stuff. The Lucrative Speaker Summit is going on now if you’re listening to this podcast when it comes out, this is August of 2020. So get yourself over to lucrativespeaker.com, sign up, it’s a free opt-in so you get to learn more from Jewels and the other fantastic speakers. Jewels, I just want to thank you so much for your time, your wisdom and your friendship and care. You are awesome and I totally appreciate you being here today.
Jewels: Mindie, it was my pleasure. Thank you for this time. I really enjoyed it and I’m really going to enjoy sharing all this with your audience for the summit. I’m super excited.
Mindie: Me too. Me too. Thanks so much.